agent_harkness: (sad)
Once upon a time the gods needed someone for a mission to hell. Specifically, they needed someone who could get around hell's rules. No man could go there and return, no woman could go there and return. The gods needed someone who had a little bit of both sexes, someone who'd lie down with a man or with a woman. Somebody who could pick hell's locks and slip in and out.

And that's who they sent. A man with a pretty face. To seduce the empress of hell, and then to trick her.

His mission was a success. He didn't get away with it, though.

She cursed him.

She cursed him forever.
agent_harkness: (poignant)
Lynda... I need to talk to you. Don't worry, I brought a chaperone.

WE WIN!

Aug. 16th, 2006 08:49 am
agent_harkness: (super me!)
Victory party at my place!
agent_harkness: (attack!)
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm showered, armed, and ready to go. You already knew that, ha ha ha.

I'll see you in hell.
agent_harkness: (Default)
Just to let everyone know - the next dimensional gateway to the realm of [livejournal.com profile] them_from_there should be open sometime after 8 pm BST (that's 3 pm in New York, 12 noon in Seattle, and around 5 am in Sydney).
agent_harkness: (shy boy)
[livejournal.com profile] lyndawithay - can I have a word with you?

In PRIVATE people. *puts hand over metaphorical lens*
agent_harkness: (serious)
Ohhhhhkay. *deep breath*

This all started when [livejournal.com profile] miss_gate disappeared. Given the, erm, altercation she was involved in, I suspected the Dream Police at once. Problem was, those guys are notoriously vicious. If I was gonna go after Them, I couldn't put anyone else at risk. That's why I had to get [livejournal.com profile] lyndawithay out of the way, hopefully where nobody would go looking for her. (Still sorry about the punch, Lynda - you didn't trust me an inch, with good reason, and there wasn't time to convince you.) Didn't quite work, though, since you all basically invaded [livejournal.com profile] arthur_gate's house, which ended up with him getting kidnapped too - even though he hadn't broken one of Their arbitrary "rules" about non-fraternisation between levels of reality.

*puts on Power Point presentation*

You can imagine the different levels of reality as floors in a building. Everybody thinks of the guys in the floor above as being more "real" than they are. [livejournal.com profile] de_seingalt is less "real" than, say, [livejournal.com profile] pfred, who is less real than [livejournal.com profile] agentcompassion.

(Anybody not following? Questions at the end.)

I tried to make a deal with [livejournal.com profile] them_from_there to find out what Their ultimate plan really is. I said I'd work for Them - turns out that meant They made me into a fictional character, like [livejournal.com profile] de_seingalt. If you like, they demoted me down one level of reality. It was like being a puppet. I keep my eyes and ears open, though.

Their mistake was that because Giac and I were now equally "real", he could swap himself for me. He couldn't tell Their plan without dying - They'd written that into him - but he knew I could, so the swap would be worth it.

He's one hell of a guy.

Anyway, their plan is this: They want to capture a "real" person, someone on the level of, say, [livejournal.com profile] qthewetsprocket. They think this will allow Them to break through the Fifth Wall and take over LiveJournal. It's a crazy plan, but it just might work.

Somehow, together, we have to think of a way to stop Them.

OK, questions.
agent_harkness: (Default)
I owe everyone an explanation. Just hang on until I finish shagging the Doctor.

Free

Aug. 12th, 2006 07:38 pm
agent_harkness: (poignant)
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I need a shag.
agent_harkness: (attack!)
Situation desperate. DP close. Do they have P? Only one way to find out.

May be my last entry.
agent_harkness: (serious)
Now certain DP are on my tail. Think they may have P also??? L safe.

Dear Diary

Aug. 4th, 2006 11:00 pm
agent_harkness: (Brush up your Shakespeare)
Life is good.

*smokes cigarillo*
agent_harkness: (So handsome it hurts)
Like the decor? I picked up the job lot of cushions from a bordello on Bandraginus V. *flicks a switch on control device - candlelight seems to come from nowhere*
agent_harkness: (So handsome it hurts)
OK, Lynda-with-a-Y, what can I do for you?

(Drink the absinthe slowly. If nothing else, it's bitter as sin.)
agent_harkness: (Default)
OK, ma petite choux, stay close. We don't want to get spotted and captured.
agent_harkness: (Default)
Hi everyone! What a great-looking group of people. Who's for champagne?
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