(no subject)

[agent_harkness]

Hi everyone! What a great-looking group of people. Who's for champagne?

Comments

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I like you a lot.

I have issues.

[mme_depompadour]

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

I am going to help you clear those up, just you wait. Even if I have to beat them out of you.

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I do, oh I do so much. *handporns*


*eeps*

[mme_depompadour]

*handporns you back*


Trust me. I know what I'm doing. It won't hurt much.

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I don't like my issues

[mme_depompadour]

I know you don't sweetie. We'll fix them, I promise. It will all be OK. *strokes you*

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I think I have a thing for Penelope.

[mme_depompadour]

*kisses you* It's OK, sweetness. It's a normal Oedipal thing, don't get worked up about it. We'll sort it out together.

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I didn't used to have a thing. It's new.

[mme_depompadour]

I know, my dearest. Do you want to talk about it?
Was it all the baked goods? Or her being strict with you and stealing our baby?

Or was it just the fucking in her house that did it? Did you want her to see? Did you want her to walk in on you? And call you a naughty dirty boy? Make you wash you mouth out with soap and stand in the corner maybe? Or any other stereotypically Victorian punishments?

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

WTF talk? No.

She is quite scary and is intelligent and powerful. It was alright until I stopped thinking of her as my mother. Then I realised that she's quite hot.

[mme_depompadour]

I see. So it's just the disowning thing, then?
You are going to have to accept that she is your mother, my darling. There is no other way around it. She gave birth to you. You sprang from her loins. She raised you, and fed you baked goods. She gave you baths and dressed you and punished you when you were bad. She is your mother. YOUR MOTHER, OK?

She fucked your father. Whoever that might be, it's not like you ever tell me anything until it's way too late.

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I am conflicted in my head.

[mme_depompadour]

*kisses your forehead again*
I know, my emo love. We'll get through this.
*hugs you*

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

Penelope is hot.

[mme_depompadour]

SHE IS YOUR MOTHER, GODDAMMIT! Stop calling her Penelope. This is not a healthy place to be, darling, really. Would you like me to dress up like her some time? Would that help get it out of your system?

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

She is NOT my mother!

...it might.

[mme_depompadour]

She is. Accept it. You're doing this to yourself by denying the reality of the situation. She is your mother.

Would you like me to spank you again?

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

FUCK OFF SHE IS NOT MY MUM SHE NEVER TALKS TO ME

Maybe later

[mme_depompadour]

Is that why you never talk to anyone else? What would you like to talk to her about? What would you say to her if she were here right now? Pretend I'm her for a moment, just humour me.

OK

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

That would just be weird. Also it would mean talking about my feelings. Besides, you're not her.

[mme_depompadour]

You know this is the root of all your problems, don't you, you silly lonely little boy? We are going to have to go talk to her then. Or to a very expensive therapist. Or you're going to have to talk to me.

Your choice.

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

I'm not calling you mum if I do. I'm not saying I'll talk to you, but if I do.

[mme_depompadour]

If you do, I'm here for you, OK? And you don't have to call me anything, sweetie.
*kisses you*

[lonely-god.livejournal.com]

*fidgets*

Yes, well, I feel much better now thanks.